This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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