i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
