Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
