Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
