i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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