First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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