hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
