Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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