yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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