WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
