just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
When are your genitals available?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
