he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
