You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The air taste purple.
Randomize
