Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
