So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Randomize
