Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
