Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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