why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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