I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
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You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
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Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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