Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
