Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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