why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
