We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
