I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You were trust falling into bushes
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
