Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
