I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A bitchslap is in order.
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