he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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