Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The Olympian is in my bed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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