saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
