The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
