I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I hope mine doesn't look like that
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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