Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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