Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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