She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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