on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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