On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
