She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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