did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Still dying that you shit outside
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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