The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
time to smoke my breakfast
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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