Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
accomplished twins. life is a go
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I checked into jail on foursquare
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
being pregnant is like rehab
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
