marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
