When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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