yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
