Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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