And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
