Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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