the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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