those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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