You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize