he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So vagazzling was a success
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
