Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
