there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
