My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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