matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think i have two assholes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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