If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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