Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize