we have pet lesbian snakes
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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