Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
