Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
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coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
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Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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