Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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