This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
