I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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