Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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