didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
